Unspoken Words

I keep spacing out- I feel like my surroundings fade and my existence is erased for a little while. It's a peaceful feeling. I wonder if that's how I'll feel when death claims me.
What I would do to clear my mind and erase all my nagging, anxious, dark thoughts- to shut my inner voice off.
I have friends around me, but I'm still alone; I have no one.

Is this what death will feel like as well?
It's so dark and lonely, yet so peaceful and familiar.
All the pressure built up in me- I don't know how to release.
Sadness echoes through me everyday, every minute. Emptiness.
Nobody to listen. Nobody to understand. All this stress, confusion and despair. What do I do with these?

I don't even know anymore.

Jack & Jill (my original version)

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch their mother's head,
For their father went mad and went to kill
His wife for he found her in bed.
In bed with another,
He lost his temper,
And took his axe to her neck-
A bloody rampage,
Blinded with rage,
He hacked, and hacked and hacked.

Little did he know that Jack was watching,
His virgin eyes were tainted with sin.
Father sent his children to fetch his wife's head,
And Jill's little hand, psychopathic Jack takes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch their mother's head,
Jack shoves his sister,
His mind was bitter,
And he watched her fall to her death.

Father found out and picked up his axe,
And he hacked, and hacked and hacked.

Along with his axe, father went up the hill
To mourn, for his family's dead.
He picked up a knife and stabbed and stabbed,
Until he bled to death.

F.O.M.O.K.O Go

"F.O.M.O.K.O Go" -Through Arteries

If this is death, then show me the angels

Doctor, doctor, I don't feel a thing
I have a high tolerance for subjective pain
Mothers fear their boys will turn out like me
How could you be this way

"Take this pill and drink it down"

It takes my pain away
it's the prescription for my misery
Taking this pill will take my pain away

Pushing and shoving I can't break the crowd
It's like when you walk in, you're all they want to see now
Pushing and shoving I can't break the crowd
It's like when you walk in, you are the queen of them now

Doctor, doctor, I don't feel a thing
I have a high tolerance for subjective pain
Mothers fear their boys will turn out like me
How could you be this way?

House On A Hill

"House On a Hill" - The Pretty Reckless

Somewhere in the end of all this hate
There's a light ahead
That shines into this... 
Grave that's in the end of all this pain 
In the night ahead,
There's a light upon this house on a hill 
Living, living still 
Their intention is to kill 
And they will, they will

But the children are doing fine
I think about them all the time 
Until they drink the wine 
And they will, they will, they will 

Somewhere in the end we're all insane 
To think that light will 
Save us from this pain that's, in the end all this pain
In the night there's a light upon this...

House on a hill 
Living, living still 
Their intention is to kill 
And they will, they will
But the children are doing fine
I think about them all the time
Until they drink their wine
And they will, they will, they will

I am not afraid
I won't burn out in this place
My intention is to fade
And I will, I will in this

House on a hill
The dead are living still
Their intention is to kill
And they will, they will
But the children are safe inside
Out of pocket, out of mind
Until they drink the wine and they will, they will, they will.

There Will Be Light

Smoke flows out
of her parted lips,
Fingers intertwined in
her dark hair tips.
Her face was empty,
But her mind was loud,
The scars on her thighs,
She was far from being proud.

Reminiscing back into the past,
Blood on her hands
Oxidizing into crust.
She fought and she cried and she begged to be free,
But it was all in vain for no one heard her pleas.
Ground into pieces was her agonized heart,
She flailed in an ocean of sorrow till the breath she thought last.
It was over, she thought, but life dragged her back out,
Only to be plunged back in to continue to drown.

Her mind was her dungeon,
Her capturers her reflection-
And her body was her canvas
in which she painted with blood.

She starved, she cut,
She scratched and she screamed,
Her mind a violent scene,
The pain an unstoppable flood.

It got to a point where she resorted to death,
To hopefully set her free and help her story end.
Eternal sleep was getting closer,
She welcomed the darkness-
But something gripped her back
From what she thought was happiness.

In a mass of darkness, there will be light-
Though not obvious, it will soon come to sight.
She's fought for too long,
her demons leave her to rest;
She has become strong,
And her heart, god finally blessed.

"Where's my baby?"

An original short horror poem:

I feel eyes on me as I'm going to sleep.

But nobody's there; the hallway is empty.
So I trudge back to bed and slowly close my eyes,
but I heard little scampers and scratches down the winding stairs.
I want to check, but it's getting late.
The sounds are getting closer; must be the rats.
Ignoring it, I close my eyes and peacefully slept.

An hour later, I am startled awake.
Someone's here- I can feel it. I look at the clock, It's 1:59am.

I get out of bed, and am drawn to the mirror.
There is something on my arm.
I lean in to look a little closer.
I gasp in surprise at the large, purplish marks.

I look back up and jump up in fright,
for what I see is a horrifying sight.
Right behind my reflection, there stands a woman.
A woman in black, her clothes look victorian.
Her hair is loose, her skin is pale,
her eyes are bleeding and her face looks frail.
Her fingers are clawed and covered in blood,
her abdomen cut open, full gorey view of her exposed guts.

I turn around in horror, hoping I saw wrong;
but she is still there, standing right under my clock.

It is 2am.

As the clock chimes, she starts to come closer.
I back away in fear, hoping she won't come over.
"Where's my baby?" she whispers desperately,
but I am frozen; my heart palpitates quickly.
"Where's my baby?" she screeches this time.
Terrified, panic seeps out of my eyes.

"Where's my baby! Where's my baby!" she chants and screams.
She latches her claws into my shoulders and they start to bleed.
Then I wake up; it was just a dream.

But on the floor, there is a note covered in blood.
I pick it up and read: "Where's my baby?"

It is 2:01am- in my shaking hands,
the note I crush.

Burn The Liar

You let yourself be beaten down yet again today.
You scream at yourself, call yourself stupid again.
As if what they call you isn't enough for your broken soul,
You force more pain into the cracks, empty yourself you feel so cold.

And as you're walking back to a place you call home,
You still don't feel safe, is it even home at all?
And you're sitting in your room alone,
The tension is thick, it hangs in the air, the insecurity crawls,

It's under your skin.
You can't get rid of it.
Your soul it breaks,
It'll always take
And never give.
Maybe this is the price to live?

Cos if I were you, I'd rather get dragged down to the fires.
They'll burn you; and call you a liar,
But you'd rather feel the pain and burn away,
Rather than live another day
to get hurt over and over again.

All those names they scream, all those cuts that bleed- they'll never go away.
But you learnt that Life's a bitch,
So we deal with our problems, one of each.
We hang them, stab them, torment, forget them,
But each of them is a lesson that we'll never forget.

The Crying Banshee

I'm an empty shell.
I don't feel a thing,

just this ricocheting silence screaming like a dying banshee, crying for help.

But her cries were silent- never heard till her last breath.

All those pleas for help fell upon death ears, and now her faith is dead.

After all the pain and torment, all the blows she's taken- her bleeding mind has had enough; it created a barrier.
She couldn't feel, she couldn't love. She was incapable of feelings.
She was numb, as if anesthesia ran through her brain.
She was nothing; just an empty shell.
She tried so hard to feel again, but perhaps she will never be able to? It was useless, her efforts.
No matter how much she tried, she couldn't destroy the barrier to feel again.

It was so close, yet so far.

But sometimes she thanked the barrier. Sometimes, it was better not to feel anything at all. Sometimes, it was better to be alone.
Being alone meant that you'd be safe; you wouldn't get hurt as much. But the cold emptiness of being alone- was it worth it?
And was pretending to be happy worth it as well?

The forced smiles, the forced words and the forced laughs. She wasn't truly happy.
She never was.
Her mind might be numb, but her heart continues to break. It never stops bleeding.
And one day when she's had enough, all she needs would be some poison-
Then she would be set free.

Its a ticking timebomb. Just one strong tide, a powerful relapse and it would all end.

There was once a crying banshee, screaming for help, but no one ever heard her pleas.
She looks at her reflection, and there I was;
The crying banshee.

Dead

Too tired to feel,
Too numb to care.
Empty, lifeless, dead inside,
My frozen mask barricades my heart.
A smile, a laugh escapes my lips
Yet I don't feel it, not one bit.
It might be a good thing,
I don't have to feel the pain.
My body feels hollow,
Yet thoughts and voices ricochet through my mind,
I am forced to swallow
The venom in those lies.

My pen scratches the paper,
My emotions I draw.
Bloody and dark, creepy yet true,
My fear, my anger, my pain slips through.
It glides down my hand, my pen the paper;
It holds the key to a darker part of me.
Emotions I locked up for way too long,
Crumbles down on me
My mask has begun to fall.
Faith I've lost, trust- it's broken,
God won't save me, angels don't exist.

Numbness creeps into my dying heart,
Slowly settling into this realm so dark.
Anesthetic flows straight through my veins,
Dead and empty, it falls down like rain.
I don't want to feel, I don't want to care,
It'll be like I'm just not there.
My body is just an empty vessel,
My broken soul has left me,
My emotions a dark tunnel.

I am dead.

Frozen Mask

Misunderstood, I can't say a thing.
Accused and humiliated, I can't hide away.
It's like a cycle, it's like a ring,
It hangs around my neck like a noose made of string.
The glares stab me, the words strangle me.
They hurt me, they shoot me
Yet I can't say a thing.

Once again, the pain helps me.
It distracts, it stops the tears from flowing.
Tears are bad, they make you look weak,
The monsters will shoot and you'll fall to your knees.

A needle, a thread, sew my lips up,
I can't say a thing, like a doll staring blankly.
This mask burns, but it takes attention off of me,
so they can't see the real me, they can't judge me.
Blood escapes, a cry for help,
but I wipe it away, my mask can't melt.
I freeze it back up, not letting it free,
I'm holding the key,
No one will know me.

Parade Of The Dark Ringmaster

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls:
Welcome to our dark, dark world
where you are judged and sentenced to die,
even if the cause was a lie.

"Slander!" you may cry,
"Lies!" you might protest.
But who will listen, young one?
Who will be there to protect?

No one will save you! When will you learn?
You're so naive! And for that, you shall burn.
You better learn now, and you better learn fast;
For one wrong step, and it could be your last.

The bearded lady watches, the abominations stare,
the clowns show off their chelsea smiles,
and the Dark Ringmaster glares.
"You're the freak here", better accept that quick.
For one wrong word, and you'll be facing the whip!

This sadistic little circus show will carry on once more,
Decorated with blood, guts, brains and gore.
Nobody can hear you even if you scream yourself hoarse,
Don't worry, darling, we'll try not to make it hurt a lot.
You're alone now, darling, nobody will help you,
Mommy's not coming to shield you from the truth.
You're chained to this world now, your slow, painful death,
Daddy's not coming to protect you from the rest.

Hush, dear child. Don't be afraid;
You're one of us now.
You're in the black parade.